I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
