waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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