im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize