how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
