I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
