i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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