Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I have tasted many bathrooms
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
