you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
