apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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