Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
