Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize