He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
