He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize