I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
