i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
