the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
this boner is exhausting
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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