she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
