Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
