dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize