I don't think brook has ever known best
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
