New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
