He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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