Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
