Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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