yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
