i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
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