dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
