where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
