What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
They should really pass out barf bags in church
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
