woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize