GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
