carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize