you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my being single is dangerous.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
