There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
