I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I feel like abortions should bother me more
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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