Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
