I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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