It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize