I can't watch pbs sober anymore
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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