it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
