Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
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She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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