How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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