my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
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He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
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I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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