i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
