she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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