who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
