I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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