There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
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MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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