I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
