So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
