Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I understand Curling. That high.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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