im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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