dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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