It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
