So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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