There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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