dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
