well I can't set my house on fire every night
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
