when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
