Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
